Noticed sometime how because of bad sex also our attitude towards the partner changes? Irritability, quarrels on trifles… What to do in such situation, the expert of the center of family and sexual education Secrets will tell.
Sex is an important part in the relations between the man and the woman. As if a small gear which works in connection with others. And if one part of the relations, for example intimate, begins to limp, also the others will begin to limp sooner or later.
For a start – with. To admit that your beloved not the best lover, is hard. But to solve a problem, it is necessary to recognize that it exists. If something does not suit you, better to say about it as soon as possible, and to feign pleasure in fear to offend the partner – it is obvious not that road along which it is worth going in the healthy relations. But before saying to the partner that sex does not suit you, answer yourself a question: whether only in the partner business? Very often it is complex to women to derive pleasure though the partner does everything correctly. Your own body can be the cause in such situation. If earlier with other men everything was good and you are sure that a problem in your partner, it is worth talking as soon as possible.
The conversation on sex is always a delicate conversation
Fear to offend the partner in that case when it is necessary to speak about sex, – it is rather good, than badly. You can hesitate, long not decide on a conversation, but eventually will make everything most accurately that at the partner occasions to be upset were not simple. The sensitivity is the first rule in a talk on intimate subjects like on black girls chat with strangers and in real life. There are several things which precisely you should not do when you want to tell the man that he does not suit you in a bed.
1. To blame for everything only him
Sex is what happens between two people and if it is bad, then over it two tried. And more likely it not he is guilty that does not give you pleasure, and you are not right that you did not explain to him in advance that can give you pleasure. Men and women if business concerns what is below a belt, are suited capitally differently. So silly to demand from the man that he at the instinctive level knew what needs to be done with you in a bed. Do not hesitate to explain to the man what is pleasant to you. The man will only be glad that you laid a hand to making sex it is better.
2. To start a conversation in improper time
When he was tired after unlucky day or at work there were some problems when he is concerned about some circumstances or is keen on the video game, especially when you already have sex, – all this improper time to begin a serious conversation. Try to find such time when the man is quiet, weakened and ready to communication. By the way, favorable for a conversation will be that moment when you already stopped having sex and leaned back on pillows: it will serve as some kind of blame-storming session.
3. To try to hurt his pride
Men are very sensitive, especially when it concerns some qualities. Therefore, you should not snatch on the man with shouts that he inattentive, inept in beds and at all not such. What strong would not be men, to them too unpleasantly and sick to hear offensive words in the address. It is better to speak “Yes-language”: that is not “You do not satisfy me in a bed”, and “I very much like to have with you sex, but it would be more pleasant to me if you …”. In general, a formulation “Our sex just remarkable, but it would be even better if …” – it is universal for a talk on sex when there is a wish to modernize it a little. Very few people from men will stop trying to make sex even more abruptly if they consider it just delightful.
4. To compare sex with others
This taboo not only in sex, but also in usual life. Phrases it seems “My former did it better” will not urge on the man, and, on the contrary, will anger him and will force to lower hands, why it is necessary to you if there is someone better? Eventually, put yourself on his place and understand that it will not want to hear it in general to any person.
Good news! It is not obligatory to speak up
If it is not pleasant to you, what is done by your partner, it is not obligatory to speak directly. Let your body will tell everything. Just do not hold down the emotions and give nonverbal signals. Here everything is simple. When it is pleasant to you that the partner does, draw near him; if you, on the contrary, do not like actions of the partner, be discharged of him. Give the return in language, comfortable for you, respond to efforts of the man. If it is a shame to speak, sounds and casually the thrown approving words will come to the help.